


Argument

by thievinghippo



Series: Sonya Shepard [10]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thievinghippo/pseuds/thievinghippo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard and Garrus don't always see eye to eye.  The resolution to the conflict on Rannoch has Garrus searching for answers that only Shepard can give.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Argument

The congratulations couldn't arrive fast enough. The great Commander Shepard, brokering peace between the geth and quarians simply because it was a Wednesday. Garrus joined in at first, dazed by how the woman he loved more than his own life was able to do the impossible. Again. 

When she came to the battery, he praised her. Of course he did. She left with a smile on her face and a promise that they would have their own private celebration that night. 

With the silence and stillness of the battery cloaked over him again, Garrus replayed the events on Rannoch in his mind. The sureness in his gut that he was truly going to lose her as she faced down the Reaper. Listening to Tali, Legion and Shepard desperately try to forge peace.

Instead of staying happy, his fists clenched. Wanting to make sure of what he thought, Garrus went through the audio recordings. And then the armor cams. 

And he realized he was angrier than he could remember being in a long, long time.

It was late before Garrus made his way up to the loft. She was waiting for him on the couch, wearing only a tank top and a pair of underwear. Her face broke into a smile as he walked towards her, but quickly switched to confusion as she sensed the fury radiating off of him. 

Shepard stood, crossing her arms over her chest, and looked at him warily. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice quiet. 

Garrus took a deep breath, wanting - no, needing - to sound in control. "On Rannoch," he started. He paused, trying to figure out exactly how to phrase his next words.

She sighed. "Is this about fighting the Reaper on foot?" she asked wearily. "I knew you wouldn't be thrilled about it, but I had no choice, Garrus."

"This has nothing to do with that," Garrus snapped. Shepard's eyes grew wide. She straightened and Garrus knew he had her complete attention. "In all of the celebration, no one seems to be willing to call you out on this, Shepard. But I will."

"About what?" she challenged.

"You were willing to let the geth massacre the quarian people."

Garrus watched as his words perforated her skin. He knew her so well; he could tell she was battling between shock, anger and sadness and that if he was anyone other than her lover, she would tell him to get out and go to hell. 

She put a hand over her mouth and took a deep breath. Not looking at him, Shepard said, "I knew they would see reason. They had to." 

"And if they didn't?"

"Why does it matter?" she asked, defiant. "They did."

Garrus shook his head, not buying what she was selling. Her certainty that everyone would do exactly what she wanted infuriated him. Like when she put herself in his scope when all he had wanted was to put a bullet in Sidonis’ brain. It was going to bite her in the ass some day. "Tali begged you not to let the upload happen. Begged you. And still you let it continue."

"It was a risk," Shepard whispered. 

Instead of cooling the flames in his chest, her admittance only stoked them. "A risk? You were willing to risk seventeen million lives over the geth?"

"The geth deserved a chance-"

"What if Gerrel didn't stop? What if Tali had tried to stop Legion herself?" Garrus asked, knowing his anger was getting the better of him. "You told me once that the war was bigger than any one person. You willing to kill her? Like you were willing to kill Ash?"

The color drained from Shepard's face; she looked like she was about to vomit. Garrus closed his eyes, knowing that he had gone too far. 

She stalked past him, not even glancing in his direction. As she took the stairs in one stride, Garrus said, "Shepard, please." She didn't look back as she went into the bathroom, the door locking firmly behind her. 

Garrus ran his hands over his fringe and muttered, "Crap." His anger was gone, as quickly as a candle snuffed. But the burning need to understand her decision was still there, settling in his gut, refusing to release him. 

He dragged his feet to the bathroom door, deciding if he should talk to her now or sleep in the battery tonight and try again tomorrow. But they promised each other once they would never go to bed angry. Some human concept that Shepard had read about and wanted to use in their relationship. And there was no doubt in his mind that she was angry.

Knocking softly on the door, Garrus said, "Shepard, I crossed a line there. I'm sorry."

There was no answer. 

Garrus took a deep breath and counted to twelve. "This is me apologizing, Shepard." 

He stood, leaning forward, resting some of his weight on his hands, which were on either side of the door. He counted to twenty-four. 

Still no answer. 

Without thinking, Garrus slammed the heel of his palm into the door once. "Damn it, Shepard, you know I can't stand it when you ignore me like this. Talk to me!"

The door opened. She was sitting on the floor, facing him, her knees hugged tightly to her chest. With a jerk of her head, she invited him inside. 

Garrus sighed and stepped in, knowing it would be too much to ask her to come out there, maybe sit on the couch and talk. This was simply her way of trying to control a situation where she felt no control. He could give her this. He gingerly sat down away from her, leaning back on the wall with the shelves. Their feet touched. 

"I would have never killed Tali," she said, her voice soft. There were tears in her eyes which she angrily brushed away. "We both know I could take her down without using gun." 

"I shouldn't have said that," Garrus told her. 

She tilted her head to look at him. "But you did," she said sadly. "Is that how you see me now? Willing to just shoot a problem away?"

Garrus shook his head, thinking of the times when all he wanted was to solve a problem with a bullet and how she showed him a better path. "I also said you were a peacemaker, Shepard," he said, tracing the arch of her foot with one of his toes. She shivered at the contact. "I meant that."

Shepard leaned her head forward so it rested on her knees. She stayed silent for so long that Garrus almost wondered if she had fallen asleep. He reached out and touched her shoulder, a reminder that he was still there and still wanted answers. 

Taking a deep breath, Shepard looked him right in the eye. "If the quarians hadn't backed down, I would have allowed Legion to finish uploading the code." She raised her chin, if in defiance or to ward off hurt, he didn't know. "It wouldn't have been a massacre. It was war, Garrus, your ruthless calculus. War the quarians started and were barely willing to let go of."

"But the geth-"

She slammed her hand down on the tile. "I made a strategic decision, alright? I looked at all the pieces and decided that if the quarians were going to put me in the horrible position of having to choose, in the long run, the geth would make better allies. Is that what you want to hear?"

Shepard looked tired. So damn tired. They all were. But he was close to his answers, so close that he couldn't stop now. "Why? Why would they be better?"

She counted on her fingers. "I've gotten reports from Hackett about the Primes already there. Production on the Crucible has increased dramatically because of them. Legion and I discussed their fleet size, and while it doesn't match the quarians, their fighters are much more suited to combat than the civilian fleet."

“So because the geth are fast workers, you were willing to let an entire sapient species die?”

The glare she gave him should have incinerated him, she looked so angry. But then she sighed and seemed utterly defeated. Defeat was not a good look on Shepard. “If it saved Palaven? Earth?” She closed her eyes. “Yes.”

“Shepard…”

Leaning her head back against the wall, Shepard added, "That's why I made the decision I did. But it would have cost me, Garrus. Even being absolutely certain I was making the right call, I don't know how I would live with myself if the quarians didn't make it out in one piece." 

Garrus tried cracking his neck, feeling every minute from this never ending day settling in his bones. "I wish I saw them like you do," he admitted. 

She scooted to the other wall, so they were sitting across from each other. Her legs stretched out in front of her; her feet tangling with his. "What do you mean?"

He made the mistake of leaning back his head, bending his fringe awkwardly against the wall. He winced. "You see a geth and see a potential ally. I see a geth and see a target. I don't know if that will ever change." 

"They want peace, Garrus."

"So you keep saying," he sighed. "I just don't know, Shepard. Maybe some day... I know everything worked out, but if it hadn't... Let's just say I wouldn't have made the same decision."

"We don't have to agree on everything," she told him, bringing her knees back to her chest. "But I'd like to think you know I'm looking out for the galaxy's best interest."

"I do know," Garrus said, sliding over so they were sitting next to each other. "Funny how that's changed. Seems like I remember you used to wanting to look out for Earth's best interest."

Shepard groaned and rubbed her eyes. "Don't remind me. I think about how I acted in front of the council and want to punch myself. Surprised someone didn't."

He put his arm around her and Shepard rested her head on his shoulder. "You were in shock, Shepard. We all were." He nuzzled the top of her head. "And you're looking out for everyone now, that's what matters." 

"Thank you." Slipping her hand beneath his scarred mandible, Shepard asked, "We good?"

"We good," he repeated, pressing his mouth plates lightly against her lips, his best imitation of a kiss. 

Shepard stood up, holding out her hand to help him off the floor. "Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted." 

Before she could step away, Garrus put his arms around her waist, bringing her back flush against his chest. "What about our private celebration?" he murmured into her ear. 

Her shoulders fell slightly. "Maybe in the morning," she said, squeezing his hands. "Doesn't feel like much of a victory anymore, to be honest." 

She stepped out of his embrace, and Garrus couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, having taken that away from her, in pursuit of his answers. Grabbing her hands, he pulled her back, needing to remind her of the good that came out of today. "None of that. We killed a Reaper, Shepard." 

A smile worked its way back onto to lips. "Yeah, we did, didn't we?"

"That's got to be worth a celebration... or two... or ten."

"Getting greedy there, Vakarian," Shepard teased. Placing her hands behind his neck, she brought his brow down to hers. 

"Always." He looked into her eyes, and could see Shepard battling her exhaustion with her not wanting to turn him down. Garrus decided to make things easy for her. He traced her jaw with a talon. "Let's get some sleep."

Once in bed, him on his stomach, Shepard on her side, flush against him, she whispered, "Thank you."

He hooked his ankle over hers, wanting more contact. “What for?”

“For calling me out, as you called it, on these things,” she said, placing one hand on his carapace, just above the sensitive line of his waist. “I make clearer decisions, knowing I’m going to have to explain them to you.”

“And here I thought you kept me around for my good looks.”

“Nah, those are just a bonus. It’s that brain of yours that I find irresistible.” She slipped her other arm between his, letting him use the soft skin of her upper arm as a pillow. “But if we have to get angry at each other… I’m glad it’s you, Garrus.”

Garrus flexed his mandibles in a smile, feeling the exact same sentiment. "Wouldn't have it any other way."


End file.
